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Why can’t I be Like others?

I just had a little debate with a friend about the thinking process concerning these kind of questions: 
A.)  “Why do I have to be this way?” –
B.)  “Why did God make me this way?” –
C.  “Why has my prayers` to be different never been answered?”
Those are massive questions, of which.. for most of us, we have thought about before, why? Because none of want to think we are so different then others that we cannot manage our own lives.  It is true that the part of life that became unmanageable may have little to do with self will as one might imagine. Maybe at first we might have had a will, but for some of us that will turned, and turned quickly, because of other factors in our family tree. Might have been learned behavior, i.e. seeing our parental figures coming home everyday and having a few before dinner or maybe all night ling.  Have been, like with my family, generations of addiction transferred from one generation to the next, an illness that lived from generation to generation. Does not, by any means, relieve myself from being responsibility of my own actions, by far, that is not the goal, the reality does however open up doors to understanding why that first drink felt different then it does to others. And that is just talking about alcohol use when other drugs entered the picture the alcohol just became a gateway to other addictions in my life.  So let’s address best as we can one question at a time.

 

Why can’t I be Like others? Maybe you were not meant to be a cookie-cutter example of so many others. Realistically you are not meant to be totally like others. Although having worked with the homeless, senior citizens, and people that are mentally challenged over many years it proved clear to me that there are many differences in people. Most people in-fact that turned to drugs and alcohol have had serious issues in their lives growing-up. Mental and emotional discord that evolved around caregivers as they grew up and the way they themselves were treated. Many people in prisons, a study revealed have been subject to abuse as children. So is this meant as an excuse for behavior, certainly not…We have to take responsibility for our own actions. There are plenty other who in the quest of “partying” they became addicts.

 

 

 Why do I have to be this way? – I remember having this conversation so many times with people, people that posed the question for themselves and the very so many people, that live under the precept that addiction is about “self-will.” As I stated before for some – Self-Will – may have played a small part - very early-  in the addiction process, when in others like myself, the first time I took a drink or tied drugs it was a whole other world of feelings then the other person felt because it was generations of addiction that came alive in my life. Does that mean I am not responsible for my actions? of course not. Does that mean I can continue to wreck things in my life and others because addiction lived in my genealogy? of course that would be observed. There has been more than one historical argument where people claimed these were a matter of “Self-Will.” When the proof just turned out that to be unsupported regardless how many people bought into the concept.      

 

Why did God make me this way? I have met people that even hurt themselves or family members of people who have committed suicide because they felt they could not deal with the affects of their life, or they felt as if no one loved them, people maybe that felt shame or guilt. People even teens that have been made to feel a sorrow that just baffles me, that others would make those kinds of feelings a reality in a person’s life. Reality is that God made you He did not create you to be an addict or alcoholic, He does not make mistakes. Inasmuch as many will ague the point man chose sin and entered into a life of death. When man walked into the world of death along with his actions came - the reality that his offspring would be born into a world of sin. You are not a sinner because you sin, rather you sin because you are a sinner. Sin of course separated us from God. There-being the reason for a sacrifice for our sin.  When Christ came to be that sacrifice on a cross, He overcame death that you and I might have life I have always recommended people read Deuteronomy thirty.

Why has my prayers to be different never been answered?- I cannot speak for another individual in, of - his / her prayer life – however I have been in a position in which I have asked God to change my life, Now being a believer, I also whole heartedly believe that not only does God hear our prayers He also has the power to do as is His will is in one’s life. I know also from experience that two things apply One: is that God will not give us more than we can handle. Two: God has used circumstances in one’s life to change the lives of my others. I have to admit that there have been a couples times when I woke –up and the doctor told me, “For sure we thought you would not make it back with us.” There have been many times when God has saved me from certain death more than once due directly with my addictions. So even though I do not / could not have all the answers for you, one thing I have to recite from God you just have to accept on faith that God knows, cares and has your best interest in everything - period. I can think of no simpler and yet more profound truth to mankind.    


Deuteronomy 30:11-20

King James Version (KJV)

 11For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not hidden from thee, neither is it far off.

 

 12It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?

 

 13Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it?

 

 14But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

 

 15See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil;

 

 16In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

 

 17But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them;

 

 18I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.

 

 

 19I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

 

 20That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.    

 

Again God urges His people to choose Life. We are reminded here to claim Life through Jesus Christ; “I am the way, The Truth, and The Life no one can come to The Father except through ME.” (John 14:6), The way of Life is choosing God that Loves us so very much He gave His one and only Son that you and I might have Life and have it more abundantly. (John 3:16-17) for Jesus did not come into the world to condemn the world but to save it through HIM. Choosing God’s glorious gift forgiveness’ through Jesus Christ is of course is a choice just as  Adam & Eve’s choice to accept death we have a choice to make, My hope, My in-depth Prayer is you choose Life. 

I have to add this little note here, I don't have all the answers to all the questions you might have, although if you noticed I have put in links to some pages and listed Ministries in which I whole heatedly support and am convinced without a moments hesitation they will Minister to your needs. If you don't find them here, (what you need),  go to the Mother site Better Tomorrows many links added to pictures there, there are also  Some sites that are informational you can get so much learning done through the site. I read a great deal and share what I have come across that will help others. I have learned that a lot of people that argue and debate do so because of insecurities, fighting the unchartered waters of recovery. It can be scary for some, but we are here to hopefully work together to make life manageable as we grow together in Christ Jesus I hope you “Get” that from pour site.



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Serenity Prayer:
Click the picture a great Singer, 

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Serenity Prayer  /\
Click the picture a great Singer, 

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St. Francis Prayer:
Click the picture one great band

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St. Francis Prayer /\
Click the picture one great band

Hope you like these common "Prayers," I know they have made huge changes in my life as helped me to keep God focused. This site, These are just sections from papers over the years, I have been doing this since 1985 when I was the Spiritual Advisor for a center and the development director for another over the years. I learned that recovery can take on a great number of faces for different people. Although, one thing I have always believed is Faith Based Recovery has an indwelling success rate unlike any other form. However, I talk to people all over the world and meet people who's belief system in not as mine, we do not judge people, we do not categorize people in little groups, what is important is your recovery regardless of your sex, religion, or national origin. Sure it would be nice to know that everyone was in a personal relationship with The God our Savior Creator and Salvation, this site is meant to help you establish, (If you have not done so already), and or keep a strong recovery life daily. A tool. I have been greatly blessed, in that, God has opened doors in other countries around the world for us. Many of you know already, for those that do not, I have a disc & Nerve disease, it is real hard for me just to be able to do what normal people do everyday, I say this to say that, it may take me some time but I usually get around to getting things done. I do write for more than one on-line site, if you don't see activity here does not mean that I will not get around to posting papers, there are time when I get stuck in bed for periods.
This site is meant for you... You matter, don't let anyone ever lead you to believe differently. God made you unlike anyone else, even though we kind-of look similar to others, there are very many great things about us God made just for us / in us.. Remember that! And Live accordingly. :) :)